Heh that would make a good title for a story…

So… some updates…

Get fit - check

Eat healthy - check (for the most part)

Get job - erm pass…

Projects - check(ish) I have done some work on my website, I have begun to move the stuff on my RPG project from the cove to my website, while doing so I am also refine some stuff…. I should probably give that a proper name *ponder* I have a couple of new ideas for projects, that I will pick up in a week or too (after I have finished my major runescape task *rolls-eyes*… which incedently is coming on well) I will make a few birthday cards in the next week or so, and a new baby, might make some generic ones and see about taking pics of them (to at least see what they would look like if I was to sell them, maybe see if some people will give some feed back on them.

Runescape - 225k shafts, 225k feathers… nearly 15k iron bars. Soon to be 225k iron arrows.

Habits - So far doing well on the forming good habits front, as I said the walks and the fruit and salad are doing well

Well Happy New year y’all.

I’m gonna make a kinda new year resolution. I’m going to try and be more commited and more controlled.

Probably doesn’t make sense to most people…

This last year has fealt more like I was in a rowing boat with no oars, I’ve pretty much just gone with the flow of things, not really accomplished much and gone nowhere.

So this year I want to change…. Change is hard and sucks, but I want to try, I don’t want to just go with the flow any more.

First task. More blogging…. On a friends Blog, I read a post where she was joining this post every day thing…. Interesting challange…. doubt I could manage that, but I want to try to post at least once a week… some weeks may suck but

Second task: Write more!! Stories that is, I have lots of “ideas” but no real progress in any of my writing, so I want to try and start some of my stories (maybe already exisitng ones, or new ideas)

Third task: Get life sorted out!!! Huge tasks, small steps first…. Put more effort into getting a job…. or generally earning income (ebaying maybe *ponder*)…. straighten out living space (it’s only two rooms!!! will tidy and keep tidy…. or die trying)… failing that… get place of own (council?) more space = less stress (I hope)…. Diet and exercise…. I’m sick of being like I am…. I want to get into shape…. I keep trying, but something always gets in the way… so real try this year (proper effort may have to wait a few days until we get home, but I’m at the least gonna try and not stuff my face so much.)

Hmm Think that is all on the planning front for now.

Okay, so it’s been a few weeks since we did one of these. As much as I would love to pick a picture from our holiday (curse you Hard drive for not being big enough to sort new pictures with *waves fist*).

Here are some oldies found on the gallery (sign up, go look at all the pretties)

Pretty Bubble… we took lots of pictures of bubbles recently, this is an old one but if you keep watching the gallery, I might get around to uploading the newer ones

Summer has been really lousy this year…. but it could have been worse….

Couldn’t think what else to post… so here are some pretty clouds…. hopefully we can post new pics next week…. cuz there are some really nice ones on the camera

Here is my choice, a pic I took with the camera stuck out of the car window, while driving to Wigan, not bad if I don’t say so myself.

Most post so far have been “test” posts and project talk.

Don’t have much to say on the project front….. probably should soon…. or at the least make a note of what of my own projects will feature here.

But before that I figured I would write a “Life stuff” post, at the very least it will get me motivated to post more, and maybe post regular (tried it a few times with various journals… then get fed-up, annoyed and/or frustrated at the content or lack of content)

Any way back on topic.

Last night I watched a rather fascinating, enlightening and helpful program (just by chance as I hadn’t changed channel for a couple of hours).

To cut a long story short, the program was about a young woman tha binge ate and how she faced up to her emotions and her past to combat bing eating.

The reason I found the program so interesting was the spark of similarity that I saw between my self and the young woman.

I was bullied through most of school (from about middle of junior school to last year or so high school (very similiar to the young woman in the program) As a result I can to dislike school… not so much the lesson (which infact some I really enjoyed) but the social side, playtime and lunch time. (All of which I may or may not go into more at a later date, I probably should, after all it would do me some good, but the actual doing…. well see below :/)

Lack of social life is only a small part of the side-effect of my school days… I am a very insecure person, very self-consious and lacking any really confidence in most things. I find it difficult to express emotions. I’m a bottler, I bottle things up, letting emotions and feelings build up to point until I snap… resulting in either snapping (at someone that doesn’t deserve it, but they happen to be there), crying, sulking or eating.

I generally want to curl up and hide from the world, I hate asking for help, I hate talking about myself, I hate opening up, I build up so many walls to keep people out and to protect myself, and yet at the end of the day I still want to curl up.

I will probably write more on that another time, I don’t want to dig to much inside or into the pat at the moment, I was just fasicnated by the similarities between myself and the young woman in the program, and the program as a whole gave me a better understanding of why I feel like I do, what I can about that I don’t know, but I do understand the why better… maybe writing this down will help some one else understand the why better